COMPARISON: The Fault In Our Stars
Moving from comparison, grief & anxiety to peace of mind
Fame — Power — Position — Title — Many of us today are hustling to realize all of these though sometimes without widening our perspectives to see the deeper aspect of this ambition — Happiness.
We think that we would be happy WHEN…‘ when I have the same car that my neighbor has…’, ‘ when I become the CEO because my schoolmate is’, ‘ when I move to ‘that’ country because everybody around me is moving there’, ‘when this…when that…because of that/him/her/them’
A lot of grief that we go through in our lives is our own creation…The creation of ‘Comparison’ in our minds.
THE TRUTH WE DON’T ACCEPT
Why does this Comparison come in?
Over years, our minds have been trained to think that we are in some sort of competition and that we have to move ahead of the other person.
This could prove to be the reality up until school or college where you gotta get that degree and get the first rank. But when we step out into the real world, we realize that life does not work this way. Instead, all of us have our own unique journeys that we have to tread on.
The girl that was the star of the college is not successful in life and the backbencher who used to crack jokes with his friend becomes a billionaire. Life does not always turn out to be the way we plan it.
Clearly, grades and ranks have little to do with how life turns out.
Many factors shape our lives; our family background, our religion, the country we live in, our economic status, the circumstances in our lives and the most important one according to me,
‘our attitude towards the situations that life offers us.
When we are surrounded with happiness, we never ask God ‘Why is this happening to me?’, instead we are lost in that happiness. Not that it’s bad but then why do we blame the Almighty when we are going through tough situations in life?
Either God or the Universe is present in both scenarios or is not present at all, right?
If our happiness came onto us because of our actions then grief is also the consequence of our acts. Isn’t it?
DID THEY SAY, ‘EVERYTHING IN YOUR LIFE IS WRITTEN?’
Sometimes while we search for the answers to our questions, our rationality also gets lost somewhere and if we do not have those things that we want or the house that we want to live in, there are others who would blame life on the planets or the stars.
But what about the present Karma?
If we do not have a choice in our life and if everything were pre-written, then there is no point in the ‘Law of Karma’. The Law of Karma States —
As you sow, So shall you reap.
And if everything were pre-written, then it means that ‘I’ am not sowing anything because it was already written by God and because ‘I’ did not sow anything, so ‘I’ do not have to bear the consequences.
So that would nullify the Law of Karma, right?
But the truth is, that all of us have a choice at every moment. Each present moment gives us a choice. The choice to love or not to love, to lie or not to lie, to help someone in need while we are busy in our daily lives, or to carry on and not bother ourselves at all.
THE FAULT IN OUR STARS
Recently I watched a movie called ‘The Fault in Our Stars’.
It’s about two cancer-afflicted teenagers Hazel and Augustus who meet at a cancer support group. This movie is also a perfect blend of romance and the situations that life puts us in and our attitude toward life.
The following lines are the two characters talking to each other.
Augustus says, ‘I tend to live an extraordinary life. So my fear would be to not do that.’
Hazel replies, ‘there’s going to come a time when all of us are dead. There was a time before humans and there’s gonna be a time after and whether it’s tomorrow or a million years when that happens, there will be no one left to remember Cleopatra or Muhammad Ali or Mozart, let alone any of us. Oblivion is inevitable. And if that scares you, I suggest you ignore it.’
THE VALUE OF LIFE
This life is very short and while we’re pitying ourselves for little things that we don’t have, we’re really wasting it by not being able to understand how much we already have in the first place.
Ask about the value of life from a teenager, who is counting his/her days because of cancer, not being able to enjoy this life completely.
Ask about the value of eyesight from somebody who just lost it but was able to see before, and understand what being dependent on somebody feels like.
Ask about the value of parents from the child who just lost both of them in an accident.
We tend to take everything and everyone for granted. It’s time that we realize this wisdom that ‘Life is not at all a comparison. Life is a unique journey for me and a unique journey for each person in this world.’
Love & Namaste.
